Ms Alexia’s Second Life Etiquette Guide. Part 1

16May07

* If someone on your friends list is online, a friendly hello should always be sent. If you don’t wish to prolong the conversation, you do just as you would do if you saw them in the street or if they rang at an inconvenient time. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, perhaps you shouldn’t have friends.

* Do not offer friendship or calling cards without first having a real conversation with the person in question.. and ‘Hi’ doesn’t count.

* Do not approach anyone you know when running another av unless you’re prepared to tell them it’s an alt and who they really know. All it does is lead to mistrust if you’re twigged. If someone you know approaches you whilst you’re in alt mode, either make your excuses and leave or come clean. This is not a difficult concept to understand – really.

…and of course if you do realise that you are talking to someone you have met before under a different guise, and they don’t identify themselves, you should assume that their intentions towards you malevolent until an explanation is provided. As it is unlikely that an explanation will ever be given, you should conclude that the person behind the av does not respect you (unlikely that they even see you as a person) and will continue to play their unfathomable infantile game.

* Do not expect everyone you IM to have the time or inclination to chat. If they don’t and tell you so, you should accept it gracefully and end the conversation. Taking it badly is not really a good idea. After all, everyone has times when they’re too busy to talk to everyone who IMs them but all most people do is stop responding.. Try being an adult about this and you’ll probably find you have less stress in your life.

* However if they just stop talking to you mid conversation, I would suggest you treat it as what it is – a deliberate snub and mark them as a potential deletion from your friends list if no apology or explanation is forthcoming.

* If you walk into someone, an apology is always required. We’re all guilty of running into people, lag being what it is, but an apology when required is no effort.

…and whilst on the subject of apologies. It is perfect acceptable to apologise if a statement you make is misconstrued. It is easy to do with text as sometimes there are so few ways to change emphasis or demonstrate the emotion behind the statement.

* It is also perfectly reasonable to ask for clarification of a statement if you feel that there’s an implied insult.

* If you’re trying to pick up someone to have sex with, ‘wanna fuck?’ is usually not the way to go about it. If you are a man and you do try this line on a woman and you find it works, the chances are that ain’t no lady you’re about to get intimate with. In fact, the chances of ‘her’ having a 2 x chromosomes are very slim.

* If you’ve have managed to make contact with a woman who you haven’t met before and hasn’t fled from you and your hormones are racing, continually mentioning you want to have sex with them within the first hour of meeting probably won’t go down well. This of course is a judgement call, but do try to be a little more restrained. Actually getting to know them and seducing them is probably more effective than the ‘I wanna fuck you’ method – no matter how nicely you state it.

…and whilst we’re on the subject of sex, ‘losing your connection’ or otherwise vanishing at the critical moment is almost a 100% guarantee that you’ll never see your partner again. If you do, either she’s not a she or she likes you enough to overlook it – *once*

* Begging money from someone in your friends list is a severe no-no

* As is getting their key so you can track them online. If you discover anyone doing that to you, they are not your friend and should be treated accordingly.

* Attacking or griefing someone in retaliation for a perceived snub or insult is also out. Acting like a mature adult and trying to sort the problem out with the person concerned will get you much better results.

click here to go to part 2

and here if you want the tongue in cheek version of how to behave in this crazy world of ours.. 😉

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8 Responses to “Ms Alexia’s Second Life Etiquette Guide. Part 1”

  1. 1 Yhancik

    haha the 2 X chromosomes bit 😉
    so true

    and for the rest, indeed… and i think it actually applies to anything online, all the second lives and not only in The Grid 😉

  2. 2 Alexia Cournoyer

    the majority of it applies in the real world too… It escapes me why people think they should behave any differently in an online environment. That’s just me.. I obviously live in some parallel universe where people are sane and well mannered 🙂

  3. 3 Gita Rau

    Well said, but in my mind this is all common sense. It is amazing however just how little common sense and respect is out there both in SL, the web and in RL.

  4. 4 Petros Miklos

    This should be included in the ToS of SL 🙂

  5. 5 Alexia

    or at least a shortened version given out on orientation island 🙂


  1. 1 15 seconds of fame (or something) « Alexia Cournoyer, the La Vie Gallery and NDC present: Alexia in Wonderland
  2. 2 Ms Alexia’s Second Life Etiquette Guide. Part 2 « Alexia Cournoyer: Alexia in Wonderland
  3. 3 How to Behave in Second Life « Alexia Cournoyer: Alexia in Wonderland

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